Settling the Storm

Tossed into the inescapable current,
I took a breath when I could.

Remembering the screams, terror, cries,
Like a terrified creature.
Heavy grunts, and cold laughter,
While my mother lay there helpless,
Her sobs were silent,
For there was so much pain.
Having no control,
I whimpered.
A tear-
Dripped off of my face,
Hitting the ground, shattering, like the sound of glass.
As I came back from that horrible memory.

As rivers flow,
So must I.

Seeing the sweat drip off of the soldiers face,
All I wanted to do was scream out of disgust.
I was frozen.
His body rubbing against my mother,
Creating friction.
The person who brought me into this world,
Who taught me to wash my clothes,
Bathe my baby brother.
I watched her face,
Horror.
His smug face of victory, his hand smothering her,
Like a suffocating flame
Grasping at my own throat,
Choke me back into the NOW.

When roads end I do not stop,
I create a new one to follow.

Before the soldiers left,
Leaving footprints with their heavy boots covered in mud,
They made one last violent effort.
They shot her,
The gunshot still lingers in the air,
My mother.
She lay there motionless
With blood streaming from her head,
Creating a puddle for her to lie in.
The blood as red as a velvet blanket,
Covering a dimmer world,
Their thick steps echoed
As they guiltlessly fled.

If the stones were seen as a path, not an obstacle,
I could find my way.

Finding a spot, to hold onto tight.
Where the memories have faded,
Like footprints on a shore, the current flows over
The vivid memories I only want to forget.
Knowing I can’t go back to change anything,
I must go forward.
Using the past to create a fresh path,
Taking me down a new road,
Where I make my own reality.
Using the past as stepping stones to create a different outlook.
But keeping in mind,
That I have to make peace with what was.
As the storm settles,
I realize it is the hefty clouds that make up a beautiful sunset.

After a rugged ascension,
Here- is where I rest.